Being a Flower Kinda Sucks
by can1235
Summary: Wherein we see our villain try to understand what made him worth it. Spoilers for all of Undertale, so expect your enjoyment to be hampered if you have yet to finish it.


As he rushed through the soil around him, Flowey felt something he had never felt before; emotion. And he was feeling a lot of it. It scared him as he moved faster and faster in the vain hope that maybe, if he moved fast enough, he could outrun these new and terrifying sensations. _You idiot!_ Flowey screamed in his head as he felt himself start to choke up. _You idiot…_ he was about to start…crying. The thought of it sent shivers down his spine, it made his blood go cold, it made his legs go all wobbly. Then he remembered he had none of those. He was still a flower after all, and only now did he realize how insignificant that made him feel. He felt truly afraid for the first time.

Out of the wide range of emotions flooding his entire body, that was by far the most common. Fear. A four-letter, one syllable word that was small when written down and even smaller of a worry in the head of the old Flowey had become huge and dangerous, looming over him, blocking out any traces of happiness and hope. Then again, the old Flowey didn't really know how to worry either. At least, not until that human arrived.

Just the brief image of Frisk in Flowey's mind made him choke up again, and as he stopped to compose himself, he realized just how exhausted all that movement made him. He moved up until his head popped above ground, revealing his immediate surroundings. As he looked around, he realized that the most miserable day of his life was only going to get worse. Then again, the old Flowey didn't feel misery. Wait a minute, what was he saying? He hadn't changed, he wasn't any different! He was still the same old Flowey he had always been, and he always would be, emotions or not! He sighed; everything was just too much for him.

 _Great. Just great._ Flowey thought to himself as he saw towering, imposing buildings around him as well as a cozy, inviting, and very familiar house in the distance. It was just his luck, ending up in the capital of the underground. _You've gotta be kidding me-_ His thoughts were interrupted by an obnoxiously loud, and even more obnoxiously familiar voice.

"I'M TELLING YOU, THEY'RE HERE SOMEWHERE!" Papyrus yelled as Flowey quickly sunk back into the soil, reemerging behind a building, tilting himself in order to peek at the skeleton. Or, as Flowey quickly realized, skeletons.

 **"maybe they took a nap."** Sans suggested, walking with Papyrus. The latter was looking all around, obviously looking for somebody. Sans was…well, he was being Sans. Flowey had heard stories from Papyrus all about Sans' infamous laziness before, but seeing it up close was truly a sight to behold. The skeleton practically radiated a feeling of passivity as he trudged along, hands in his coat pockets as he wore a permanent grin on his face. **"if i just helped an entire race realize all their hopes and dreams, i'd probably take a nap too."** Papyrus scoffed at the idea.

"HOW DARE YOU EVEN THINK THEY'D DO THAT!? THE ONLY REASON WE HAVEN'T LEFT YET IS BECAUSE WE STILL CAN'T FIND THEM!" Papyrus retorted in his regular loud, obnoxious, ear grating voice. It was obvious that he cared about this friend of his, whoever they were. Papyrus was a good person; that much was clear. And Flowey had used him. He had used Papyrus like everybody else in the underground. He had lost count long ago of the amount of timelines that ended with Papyrus suffering, and the amount of times where ended up dead, all because of his never-ending boredom…

Flowey shoved the thought away from his mind. These emotions were dangerous, and he needed to get a better handle on everything before he would even think about letting his guard down. Wait a minute, what was he thinking!? Wasn't his motto "Kill or be killed"? He could never let his guard down! He was already losing sight of who he was, all because of these stupid new emotions! He quickly snapped out of his thought process as he realized the skeletons were still talking.

 **"frisk can't be far. i'm sure they're somewhere around here."** The sentence came and went, but the emotions that emerged from within Flowey stayed. He felt like garbage, like trash, like scum, like he didn't even deserve to breathe the same air as everybody else. He didn't deserve any kindness, he didn't deserve any help, and he most definitely didn't deserve any compassion. All he deserved was for the whole world to hate him, and he knew they would soon enough, after they figured out what happened to-

Flowey stopped his mental self-loathing as he felt a chill in the air rush past him, yet it felt like it went right through him as well. He felt like his thoughts were poked and prodded at, like somebody was invading every level of privacy he could imagine. And then he realized what was wrong. Sans was different. He was no longer slouching, instead standing straight, dead silent, and as still as the buildings around him. Then, he spoke. **"go on ahead papyrus. i'll be there in a bit."** After a bit of hesitation, Papyrus nodded and walked off. It was hard to tell if Papyrus knew something Flowey didn't, or if he just thought his brother wanted to be alone for a while. Sans went quiet again, and for a while, all Flowey could hear was the breeze in the wind. He didn't dare move in fear of being discovered. Then, after what seemed like forever, the silence was broken.

 **"i know you're there. can you come out?"** Flowey instinctively flinched as he looked at Sans. The skeleton had his back turned, yet Flowey somehow just knew that Sans was talking directly to him. He decided to stay where he was and see if Sans was just saying it out of curiosity. Even though he knew it was most likely not the case, it was the only scenario that didn't scare him. **"hey, maybe you didn't hear me."** Sans turned, and what Flowey saw would've chilled him to the bone, that is, if he had any bones. His eye sockets were empty, with nothing but a black void occupying the empty space as he looked right at Flowey. Flowey shriveled up in fear as he looked at the now horrifying skeleton. Was this what all those monsters felt right before Flowey tortured them? Before he ended their lives yet again out of sheer boredom, knowing a simple reset or load could erase it all? Was this what it was like to stare at death? **"I said…"** His thoughts were interrupted as Sans spoke again. **"Come out. Now."**

Flowey knew that continuing to stay was a bad idea, and as he looked at the skeleton, he had a feeling that somehow, running wouldn't accomplish anything. He went underground before emerging in front of Sans, who oddly now seemed to have his pupils back again, and looked like regular Sans instead of…whatever he was just a few seconds ago. Flowey tried to put on a good face, hoping he could play the friendly little flower role and convince the skeleton that he was no threat, but he quickly realized that it was a lot easier to imitate emotion when you didn't have any emotions of your own getting in the way. "H-howdy!" He mentally berated himself as his voice nearly cracked under the stress of an act that used to be easy to pull off. Sans stared down at him, a grin still on his face.

 **"oh, you're that flower that tied us up earlier."** Sans remarked. He looked like he was finding this amusing. Flowey cleared his (nonexistent) throat, still trying to put on an innocent face as he looked away, hoping the little emotions in his face, the tells that showed his real guilt, wouldn't be noticed.

"Oh golly, you got tied up? That sounds awful! It must've been somebody else, I'd never hurt-"

 **"Drop the act."** Sans interrupted, causing Flowey to be taken aback. Looking back at the skeleton's face, Flowey saw that one of his pupils was glowing a neon blue, and what was just a relaxed grin now looked flat out psychotic. Then again, he was one to talk.

"I-I'm sorry pal, I'm not sure what you mean-"

 **"where are they?"** Sans interrupted again. Flowey tried one more time to hold the façade together, but the increasing sense of fear he felt told him that he wasn't gonna be able to keep it together much longer.

"I-I'm just a little ol' flower, I'm afraid I don't know who you're talking about-"

 **"Tell me right now before I break your stem in half and grind your petals into dust."** Sans threatened. Flowey knew he wasn't joking, and he knew who he was talking about as well. So many emotions bubbled up inside of him; fear, guilt, anger, contempt, horror, shock, regret.

"I-I didn't-" And then, before Flowey could even realize it was coming, he burst into tears. He sobbed and sobbed as all his emotions were released in a storm of misery. "I'm so sorry!" he wailed as his tears hit the ground. He should've been embarrassed of his crying. He should've been ashamed of how weak he was. Instead, all he could do was cry. "They did it before I even knew! I could've stopped them, I would've stopped them!" He continued sobbing, not knowing what else to do. _You idiot…_ he thought as he once again remembered of the human who had fallen down and screwed everything up. Why was he so important to save? He was the villain, the monster, the antagonist. He didn't deserve what Frisk had given them.

 **"so they gave it up for you."** Sans summarized. Flowey could barely even speak, the emotions were too strong, flooding his mind too fast. **"that's just like the kid. saves the soul of every monster they can, even if he has to give up his own to do it."** He turned around and started to walk off **"i'm not gonna give you any pity. it's obvious you don't deserve it. but i'll tell you this. don't waste it. use it to be the person frisk knew you could be. the emotions you never had, the love you never felt, the empathy you never understood. use them like they would've wanted you to."** Flowey had stopped sobbing, only letting out the occasional sniff. Everything Sans said was true. Flowey always knew what Frisk wanted him to do with their soul. He just could never understand why until now. _You idiot…_

"How do you know all these things?" Flowey called out as Sans walked further and further away. The skeleton stopped, turning his head as he flashed his regular mischievous grin.

 **"hey, everybody's got secrets."** Sans winked as he started walking again, eventually fading out of sight. Flowey took a few minutes to compose himself as he looked up at the cavern ceiling. The shiny gems and rocks sparkled and shined like stars, and he was reminded of his old childhood memories. No, they weren't his, they were Asriel's. Asriel was already gone. But Flowey finally had a chance to be his own person, to find his hopes, to follow his dreams, and to make the most of what Frisk gave up for him. _I won't let you down._ Flowey went back under the ground and started moving again. He knew where he was headed next. It was time to see the surface.

 **I'm considering just keeping this a one-shot, but if you want me to continue with this story, let me know. Advice and (constructive) criticism are always welcome if you feel like posting a review.**


End file.
